An Introduction

(All direct quotes are in quotation marks. The rest is my personal notes based on Joshua Harris’ words.)

In Stop Dating the Church, Joshua Harris compares non-committal practice of attending church to dating. First, we think we find the perfect church. It’s great for awhile but eventually we lost that spark. We begin to notice its flaws. And when asked (or convicted) to be more committed or to serve, we get defensive and justify our lack of involvement by convincing ourselves that we have already given enough. We don’t actually want to commit.

[When I first began this book, I felt that I already understood the purpose of the church and that my responsibility is to serve the church as well as be totally committed. Therefore, I wondered if I really needed to read this book. I do understand these truths, but this book puts it into perspective and helps me to better explain it to someone else. I encourage every Christian—committed or not—to read this book.]

My notes as they are word for word in my journal:

•We like attending on weekends and we enjoy the social benefits. But we “don’t want the responsibility that [comes] with real commitment.”

•We “[flirt] with different churches and [keep] our options open.

Profile of a Church-Dater:
•Attitude toward church is “me-centered”. “We go for what we can get—social interaction, programs or activities. We think, ‘What can church do for me?’”
•Being independent. We go to church because we are supposed to but we don’t want to get too involved, especially with people. “We don’t pay attention to God’s larger purpose for us as a vital part in a specific church family.” We don’t invest ourselves.
•Being critical. “Short on allegiance and quick to find fault.” Always on the hunt for something better.

For Christians, church is not optional.

Paraphrase: God’s plan for the church is beautiful and God has given his people the power to fulfill that plan.

•“The plain fact is, when we resist passion and commitment in our relationship with the church, everyone gets cheated out of God’s best.
-You cheat yourself.
-You cheat a church community.
-You cheat your world.” (p.18)

•“As we become genuinely involved in the church’s work in the world, we put ourselves in the best possible place to allow God to do His work in us.” (p.21)

•Our view of the local church may be tainted by bad experiences we’ve had. This is why we MUST view the Church from God’s perspective.

•“Before any of us can understand how to relate to the church down the street, we need to see the Church as God sees it.” (p. 31)